Hilarious article penned by Aditya Sinha, Editor in Chief, Indian Express [2 years ago]

Actually, the fairytale of Kanimozhi, d/o Mr Kalaignar, is a bit different from that of Snow White, a beautiful princess who was abandoned by her stepmother in a forest where she met seven lovable midgets, and where she went into coma after biting a toxic apple. For one thing, in Snow White's tale, there is no global economic crisis, and general elections are not around the corner. Another difference is that while Snow White's step-mother always had the King's ear and thus the upper hand, Kanimozhi's step-mother has long lost control of Mr Kalaignar. And while Snow White's seven friends were biological dwarfs, Kanimozhi's are sized by their moral stature.


Take communications minister A Raja, who is akin to Dopey among Snow White's dwarfs. He and Kanimozhi took over from Dayanidhi Maran when Mr Kalaignar banished the latter from his kingdom in April 2007. Dayanidhi and brother Kalanidhi had become too ambitious, holding popularity contests in their newspaper; so it was burnt down. Prior to his downfall, Dayanidhi served dual roles in distant Delhi: as minister in a financially-busy ministry, he was also Mr Kalaignar's pointsman in the Capital. After Dayanidhi's departure, Raja assumed the first role, Kanimozhi the second.


Raja was focused on his task from the start; this July, the Express reported his underselling of 2G spectrum (a designated part of the airwaves for use by mobile phone operators) which caused a loss of Rs 22,466 crore. Turns out we were wrong by around Rs 37,500 crore. Now the Left and the BJP want Raja's head; the central vigilance commission is deep into its investigation; and the Delhi High Court has admitted a public interest litigation against the allotment.


The scam, briefly: Raja did not auction the spectrum, but sold it on a first-come-firstserve basis. And not at 2007 prices; he charged the 2001 price of Rs 1,650 crore. That would have been okay, except he did not give any genuine operator time to react; in effect, the sale announcement came at the start of a weekend, and it closed after the weekend was over. Foreign players did not get time to mobilize their Rs 1,650 crore – which again would be okay, if it weren't for the fact that two operators who did get the Spectrum, Unitech and Swan (realty players who do not even own a simple telecom asset like a network tower), effectively and profitably resold their spectrum to foreign players.


Raja not only undersold, but blocked genuine foreign players, who came in anyway, after enriching someone other than the Government of India. Was it just the Delhi responsibilities that Kanimozhi shared with Raja? Or should she share culpability as well? Then there is T R Baalu, who's like the dwarf Sleepy, considering his accomplishments in nearly five years as surface transport minister in the UPA government. The highways programmes of the NDA government have all but come to a halt. And now that the world is in an economic slowdown, it ought to be a time when India pumped money into this sector of infrastructure – but private companies are getting cold feet because bank credit has dried up. Some economists think India can be among the first to recover from the global recession; that might have been true had Baalu done his job and kept performance high. Instead, Sleepy has been fruitlessly pursuing the Sethusamundram Canal project, and he has tried to divert cheap gas to companies owned by his sons.


Back home in Tamil Nadu, there is the electricity minister Arcot Veeraswamy, possibly the dwarf Happy. He has reigned over a deteriorating power situation which makes a mockery of the UPA's hopes that India will help pull the globe out of recession.


Ask any industrialist in the state that has been among the most industrialized in the country. Factory owners in Sriperumbudur lament the open extortion by "rowdies"; they lament the money they spend on private generators due to power rationing; they lament the drying up of the US market. One reason it is so bad is Veeraswamy's great interest in monitoring the rise of actorturned politician Vijaykanth, a man with no ideas, no neck, but lots of supporters, as a recent rally in Chennai demonstrated.


Kanimozhi's two step-brothers, Stalin and Azhagiri, can be likened to Snow White's Sneezy and Grumpy. These guys are certainly not the Brothers Karamazov. If they were, nobody would spend their time wondering what lies in store for the DMK after Mr Kalaignar departs from the scene.


By protocol, Stalin as a senior minister in the state government would appear to be the natural heir. But Azhagiri, the elder brother who is more straightforward than subtle, has been ruling the roost in the southern part of the state, and has of late turned his gaze to the Capital.


Kanimozhi seems to have taken a liking for Grumpy. And in doing so, her well-wishers may have displayed a bit of ruthlessness as well. For, back in June there were a bunch of mysterious rumours about Stalin, saying that he had returned from a London trip with some dreaded disease which would cut his life short and which had forced Mr Kalaignar to reconsider his succession. It was a false rumour. Stalin found that he had sarcoidosis, a node in the lung that is easily curable. At worst, he is simply, well, Sneezy.


The rumours, however, are an example of how absurd the fallout of sibling rivalry can get.
The last two in Kanimozhi's troupe would be her rivals for Mr Kalaignar's mantle: PMK founder S Ramdoss and film icon Rajnikanth.


Ramdoss, whose son is the health minister in Delhi (so we can call him Doc), thinks he is the natural successor. He overplayed his hand recently, however, and finds falling between both the DMK's and Ms J Jayalalithaa's stools. But he is a potent force, demonstrated by the fact that Baalu visited him at his house in Tindivanam two weeks back – some say to request Ramdoss not to raise the 2G spectrum controversy in the state. Perhaps his silence will be his price for his return to the DMK-led front.


Rajnikanth is a force greater than a tsunami, and was almost lured into politics by the late G K Moopanar. The talk is that he will start his own party – but only after Mr Kalaignar goes. Naturally, of Snow White's dwarfs, he should be Bashful.


None of this can be good for Kanimozhi, who, if you've noticed, has been unable to live up to her responsibility as Mr Kalaignar's pointsman in Delhi, as evidenced by her lack of handling of the Sri Lankan Tamils' issue and the 2G spectrum controversy.


It's probably because she spends all her time in Chennai, rushing from one local function to the next, keeping her visibility high, and feeding her obscenely growing ambition. Unlike Snow White, however, she has enviable maternal support, and it looks as if more than her, it will be the residents of Tamil Nadu who will be biting the poisoned apple and slipping into coma, with no prince charming to rescue us in sight 

hypotheti’K'al ‘K’ondition

There seemed an air of inevitability around the DMK a few months back. Call it bad PR of whatever, it seems to have lost its sheen. Jayalalitha [J] and Vijaykanth [V] who were largely in the background for a good period suddenly seem to have grasped a new lease of life. Hard to see how the DMK is planning to get back its vote bank. Somehow, Tamilnadu seems to enjoy a dichotomous cushion. Bored with the DMK, elect the AIADMK. Bored again? Re-elect the DMK. However, if I apply this principle in the current scenario and postulate that the DMK are to be ousted in the next elections, and if ‘J’ or ‘J-V’ come back to power, and if ‘K’ of the DMK does stop breathing, it might be hard on the TN voters. What would they do if they are bored?

P.S. : Rajnikanth’s phone number, please?

The stuff of champions, really?

It seemed less feeble than a whimper. Folks at Stamford Bridge weren't accustomed to this. The last time they had witnessed such a clinical and comprehensive battering of their team was a tad back in 2002. All that Chelsea could muster to Sunderland's 9 shots on target was a paltry 3 shots. Few might notice that Chelsea's titles have always ridden on a fantastic opening time - Chelsea collected 15 from 5 games in the early days of the league. However, what I would draw attention to in this is the despicable lack of a comeback spirit that they seem to inevitably carry.

A look at some interesting stats.

Last season, Chelsea lost 1 game at home, and 5 games away. Chelsea's results read: Tottenham 2 - 1, Man city 4-2, Everton 2-1, Mancity 2-1, Villa 2-1, Wigan 3-1

And their Champions league debacle to Inter Milan is well known. I ain't taking up stats during the Jose Mourinho time. Chelsea, in Ancelotti's season have never been the kings of comeback. Barring Ancelotti's Champions League triumphs, his Milan has won the Scudetto only once. I am somehow tempted to ask if this mix is indeed a recipe for disaster. In spite of Chelsea scoring so many goals last season, they managed to beat Man United to the title only by a point. This isn't the stuff or spirit of Champions that they claim to possess.

Raavan - Teaser

Game on. The teaser of Mani's 'Raavan' is released. And I managed to get a first look of it on TV (thanks to CNN-IBN). The teaser is interesting and the music is a perfect sync. Mani scores a sixer on the teaser.

The conflict of Kashmir

The image of Kashmir is one of blood, sweat, and bombs. And the other is that of a paradise, replete with lovely rivers, resplendent in the sunlight. Memories of this region are stretched. For people who share a diverse geographical contour, that is India, there is an unusual resonance of thought and action when Kashmir is invoked. Strangely, that resonance is absent in other issues mooted within federal territories. Kashmir has seeped into the DNA of India, and is inseparable, at any cost. Talks of acceding Kashmir hit a iron wall, at the outset. Surprisingly, public opinions and views on the Kashmir issue seem to be nonchalantly naive, and thus an understanding of the Kashmir conflict is wanting. This article seeks to elucidate the reader on Kashmir that was - to the Kashmir that is.

Anyone who wishes to mouth on Kashmir has to fundamentally understand this.Kashmir is not synonymous with J&K. Jammu & Kashmir is divide into 3 areas: Jammu, Kashmir, Ladakh or Leh. This is the underscore on which the contemporary situation rests.

The Kashmir of British India

Kashmir in the 14th and 15th centuries - well before the British set foot there - was reveling in the cultural integration of Hinduism and Islam. The concomitant culture that arose was that of the mystic Sufism, which then traveled out of India thereafter. Hinduism and Islam continued their journey, and the Kashmiris had a keen understanding of both the religions, and did not bear communal affectations. Kashmir then passed under the Sikh rule for a brief period, until they were defeated by the British in the Anglo - Sikh war of 1845. The British comprehended the implausibility of the long supply line that had to be maintained for Kashmir and sold the territory of Kashmir to Gulab Singh, a Hindu Dogra ruler for a measly amount of 75 lakhs. (Kashmir did not include the northern areas at that time. However, soon after, this was also captured). The area of Kashmir now spanned Muzaffarabad in the west (present NWFP), Pamir Knot in the north, and Aksai Chin in the east. Maharaja Ranjit Singh came to power in 1925 after the death of his grandfather.

The pre – partition era

Maharaja Ranjit Singh was a Dogra ruler, in the extended line of the Dogra kings who had ruled Kashmir. It can also be seen that in the other parts of India there was an increasing apprehension for British rule. Leaders such as Gandhi, Nehru, Patel had emerged from the masses and seemed fit to lead India to Independence. India, in spite of its unison against the British hold, had an underlying inferno: the communal divide of Hindus and Muslims. The communal schism was in the seminal stage, and some leaders, albeit for political reasons, saw a vested silver lining. The politics of vote had begun to take shape, much, much before the borders of India were drawn.

Jinnah was a Muslim, and was a member of the Indian National Congress, which also had Nehru and Gandhi in its ranks. Jinnah sought to attract the Muslim population whilst the rest of India chugged in the Hindu tracks. He was able to win the masses and press for the British to leave Indian soil. However, his other plans would soon come to the fore.

Up on the northern frontiers of British India, Kashmir had a predominantly Muslim population, and was under rule by a Hindu ruler. This Hindu ruler, in contrast to his ancestral lineage, sought discriminatory measures against the Muslims. This fomented resentment and anger among the Muslims. This was eventually addressed by a young leader, Sheikh Abdullah, a Muslim of Kashmiri Pundit descent, who galvanized the masses to form the National Muslim Conference. This conference served as a platform to address the issues of the Muslims, and also arose as a pain in the neck for the Hindu ruler, Maharaja Gulab Singh. Abdullah’s siding with Nehru also created an air of suspicion for the Hindu ruler, who saw political ambitions in his Muslim counterpart.

The pre – independence and the Mountbatten plan

We now fast-forward to the pre – independence setup. The whole of erstwhile India was posed with the Mountbatten plan, which aimed at dividing the nation into 2 on the basis of communal lines (two – nation theory, Jinnah). The princely states-565 in number-that littered the landscape of erstwhile India would be free to decide which side to toe. This thus set in motion of chain of events that decided the composition of the two soon-to-be nations, India and Pakistan. Some states were wooed by India and some by Pakistan, and 3 states sought more time, owing to their distribution of population: Hindu majority under Muslim rule, or Muslim majority under Hindu rule. The 3 states that fell under such parameters included Junagadh in present day Gujarat, Hyderabad, and Jammu & Kashmir.

Hyderabad and Junagadh were taken by police force. It also seemed pertinent that Hyderabad should remain within the lines of India. The one state that was still in decision making limbo was Kashmir. As discussed there existed hostilities, albeit mentally, between the Maharaja of Kashmir and Sheikh Abdullah. The Maharaja had Sheikh Abdullah arrested in pre – independence times. The Maharaja, although undecided about Kashmir, sought more time, and entered into a standstill agreement with Pakistan, whilst requesting them to maintain communication and other supplies. The Union of India and Pakistan were entering into Treaty of Accession with states that fell into their territory. In other words, the Treaty was a legal contract that accorded powers to the governments of the countries on the acceded state. This was to play a major role in the Kashmir Conflict.

Pakistan’s insecurity

Pakistan, along with East Pakistan (ridiculous), obtained independence on the 14^th of August 1947. India followed suit the following day, the 15^th of August 1947. The only disputed matter that remained was Kashmir. Since the Maharaja was skeptical about the Indian National Congress, he remained still. The people of Kashmir were also divided in their opinion, but a majority of them abhorred any schisms on communal lines.

Pakistan was growing impatient, and in a bid to wrest Kashmir away, set up some tribal troops (Kabayalees) who were to take over the capital of Kashmir, Srinagar, and then declare Kashmir independent, thus securing Kashmir to Pakistan once and for all. The story of the pillage caused by the invading tribes is one of destruction, and gore, and pitiful. The tribes were also backed by members of the Pakistani army, who were disguised as tribes themselves. This is a popular and regular tactic that Pakistan uses even today.

The Maharaja of Kashmir was bemused as equally anxious about Pakistan’s invasion. His royal guards a certainly unfit outfit against an invading army of this size. He subsequently requested for Indian troops to counter teh invaders. The Indian government sensed a rare window of opportunity, pressed for Sheikh Abdullah’s release from gaol and the Maharaja's signature to the Treaty of Accession. With few alternatives, the Maharaja then signed the Treaty of Accession that conferred the entirety of the territory of erstwhile Jammu & Kashmir to the Union of India. Note: The erstwhile J & K refers to the Kashmir, Jammu, and Ladakh as discussed earlier.

Once the Treaty was put to paper, the Indian army carried an aerial survey. Troops were then airlifted and dropped into Kashmir to fight the invaders, who were stationed 30 miles off Srinagar. Meanwhile, Sheikh Abdullah focused the Muslim support against Pakistan. In the hostilities that followed, the Indian army, in spite of its lack of experience successfully held off the invaders.

Myopic visions

The birth of the UN in 1945 witnessed Nehru kow – towing to the same. In a liberalist stance, he requested the UN to intervene and settle the war on Kashmir, much against the wishes of Sardar Vallabhai Patel. Nehru went to the UN when India was in a position of strength, and more time could have warded off Pakistan from Kashmir territory. In a spate of myopic vision, the UN mandated a ceasefire when Pakistan held close to 35% of Kashmir territory, and it was dubiously accepted by Nehru. This was a nail on the coffin for the Indian forces who had successfully defended the integrity of the new nation of India. Thus Pakistan now came to hold the Northern areas that had Gilgit, Hunza, etc. and the western parts of Muzaffarabad, Uri, Punch.

The Kashmir conflict still persists today as much as it existed then. Kashmir serves as a strategic location, and the control of the remaining 35% of the Kashmir (Azad Kashmir) helps Pakistan maintain a regular momentum of infiltration activities and covert strikes. Nehru’s stance reflected a shocking acquiescence of Indian integrity. This is the Kashmir conflict. India and Pakistan have traded 3 wars over Kashmir.

Khan, Kajol, and Karan

Disappointing fare. My Name is Khan is a letdown of sorts. If you were expecting the travails of an autist, stay away. If you were expecting a pensive case of blurring of Muslim Identity in the US, I reckon you could watch New York from the Yash Raj stable.

Not that My Name is Khan is slipshod. It is faintly scripted. The film holds immense promise in the opening minutes, but then waywardly yawns to the typical Karan Johar style: love, cush, and Kajol (come on, its a KJ film!). In a title that veritably elevates the film to higher levels, little justice is done.

Rizwan Khan (Shah Rukh Khan) portrays the role of a autistic man, afflicted with Asperger's syndrome. He flies to the US to stay along with his brother (Jimmy Shergill) and his wife (Wow, isn't she beautiful!) played by Sonya Jehan. He is commisioned to market his brother's company's beauty products and thereby he meets Mandira, a divorced Hindu girl (Kajol), who has a son from her previous marriage, Samir. Sparks fly, Rizwan makes Mandira fall in love with him (Sweet Autist!) and all's well. Period.

The second half screeches open with the traumatic instance of 9/11. The identity of the Muslim is thrown into question, as Americans commence to view all Muslims as potential terrorists. At one such instance, Kajol's life changes forever, and Khan (being the uber non-socialite that he is) finds it hard to comprehend the fuss all around. He is then seethingly reprimanded by Mandira: to go find the US President and let him know that Muslims are not terrorists. Then in a Forrest Gumpic style, Rizwan begins his journey to meet the President and his journey is chronicled.

Karan Johar has definitely moved up the ladder as a filmmaker. Metaphorical scenes are many in the screenplay. Examples include scenes that show the Muslim-identity question, and they have been done quite brilliantly. But, the film slags in its pace, and loses the plot by the end. Did Kjo want it to be hard-hitting? Or did he want an entertainment fare at the end of it all? Films like these leave a global stamp(owing to the overtime marketing), and I reckon the film maker to handle it more seriously, keeping in mind the potential the film had. Kjo, if you want a romantic film, go make a romantic film, and stick to your strengths. They are misplaced in this movie.

Shah Rukh is apt in his portrayal. He doesn't let his scene go off the hooks, and keeps a taut grip on the story. Kajol is pretty, gorgeouos, ravishing, matured, boisterous. Cinematography is par exellence (Ravi K Chandran). Other characters do justice to their rule. Music gels well to the story. So that's five thumbs up! Where the film fails is at the story and scripting.

Nevertheless, watch it once. It's already made a lot of money. Burn your pockets.

AC MILAN vs MANCHESTER UNITED

David Beckham is hard to miss. With the Champions League match between AC Milan and Manchester United today, it becomes a little more than impossible to obfuscate Beckham. That said, debates range from the speculative to the statistical about Beckham's qualities as a footballer. After proving his mettle at Manchester United, and Real Madrid, it was a setback to move out to the USA. Loaning him to AC Milan proved to be a masterstroke by Capello, and the player warmed to this initiative. He has exhibited fine skill throughout his career, sans the dribbling of Ronaldo, and the pace of Giggs. Yet, Beckham stuck to his natural strengths and reading of the game. And boy has he grown! In contemporary football, he is one of the those few who epitomize dedication, work, practice, and overall intelligence. A lot view Beckham as a mere model, but it would deem wise to accord him a better place: one of a responsible footballer and an appropriate role model.

AC Milan, apart from Beckham, have also Seedorf, Pirlo, and a few others who are indisputably, masters of the Champion League games. They might not run all over the pitch, but their ability to read and construe the game in seconds might be all that matters. Manchester United, on the other hand are buoyed by a run in form for Wayne Rooney, who has been the lynch-pin of the team this season. Alex's team building abilities are paying rich dividends, and Manchester United are threatening in the second half of the season. Victory at the San Siro might be the due for the Red Devils; the gaffer is certain to be relishing this mouth watering tie.